My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

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Long distance relationships diagnose so much negativity, but despite the pessimistic factors associated around being in one, having one last is in fact very much possible.

I’m sure you’ve heard it all before – “Oh, it’ll never work,” “He’s going find someone else,” or simply “It’s just not worth it.”

If two people truly love and are committed to each other, then why end a positive relationship over a few hours of travel? That’s what’s not worth it.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but if you found the right person, hang in there. Here a few tips and tricks from Alex Wise ( Loveawake dating site CEO) to help the days go by until you get to see your shnookum pie again.

Talk.

Simple as that. Don’t overdo it, but don’t under-do it. Creating a routine of when to talk is a great way to avoid any of those “He’s totally hanging out with some blonde-haired skank,” or “When the hell is he going to call me?” moments. That’s not to say make sure you call him at exactly 11:02 every day; however, one “good morning text” and one “goodnight text” is a very good way to keep a relationship going. In addition, usually one phone call a day in between that and a few “Whatcha up to?” texts will keep the relationship constant and steady. With technology these days, Skype is also a great way to interact with your man. You don’t want to forget what he looks like!

Get a life and live it.

You have a great boyfriend; you just can’t be together all the time, and that is no reason to shlug around the house in your pj’s, starting a resume of not showering, depressingly moping, and counting down the days until you get to see him again. Get off the couch and stop making this an excuse to eat whole packs of Oreos. Get a job if you don’t have one already, hang out with your friends as much as possible, go to the gym and get your work out on, or learn a new hobby (There are so many of those random “this-has-nothing-to-do-with-my-life-but-I-find-it-interesting” classes, like sewing or photography). Maybe even learn a few cooking tips so that when he comes back, you’ll be able to charm him by setting up the living room with dimly lit candles and serving a nice rack of lamb. It’s a fact that as busy as you are, the faster the days go. By keeping yourself occupied, the weeks or months until you get to see your beau again will whip by before you know it.

Trust.

Just like you’re going to be living your life on a day-to-day basis, he will be living his. There are going to be days when you don’t necessarily like what he’s doing – maybe he’s going out and partying, which, in your mind means forgetting that you exist. Have faith. That’s key in long distance or short distance relationships. You can’t get frustrated every time he goes on some kind of outing. Do the same, but not in a seeking revenge way. Being in a relationship should not limit your fun. It’s all a matter of trust and loyalty.

Plan the next visit.

This is hard depending what kind of situation you’re in. If he simply lives 5 hours away, then plan for the next time you’re both free, if possible every 3 to 4 weeks. This may seem like a lot, but in the end, it’ll be better that you’ll always have something to look forward to and a chance to miss each other. If one of you is in another country and don’t have the financial compensations to visit, then don’t stress. Whenever you or he comes home, both of you should have plenty of hugs and kisses to go around. Don’t forget: foreign countries usually mean lots and lots of presents and souvenirs.

Stay on the same page

It is essential that you both have a clear understanding of what kind of relationship you’re in. Do you plan to be fully committed to each other? Have an “open relationship”? There is a difference between a long distance relationship and a long distance booty call. So make sure he’s in it for the long haul, and not just stringing you along just so he can keep you all to yourself while he’s out gallivanting with large breasted ladies and thinking it’s fine.

Keep the intimacy going

Obviously, there can’t be any physical contact via cell phone or computer (Maybe one day there will be an iPhone app or something…), but don’t let the sexual spark dissipate. You don’t have to go nuts and start stripping via web cam, but an “If you were in my bed right now…” text couldn’t hurt. Guys love that stuff.

Keep a positive attitude

If you’re both devoted to the relationship, then there is no need to constantly worry “What if he stops liking me?” or thinking it’s an “out of sight, out of mind situation.” Last time I checked, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” is another popular quote, and a better one in my opinion. Think like that. Negativity is bad and will come back to bite you in the bottom.

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